Dad and Retirment

First and foremost: Happy New Year! I am looking forward to a brand new start at several things this year, all of which can only happen by my own making. I think my dad is looking forward to the seminar at work next week that will tell them about their new retirement options. I thought it was pretty cool that he was actually talking about slowing down and retiring from his carpentry job until he said he was about ready to give up the cows and the farm too. He probably heard my heart thud as it splattered to the floor while we were talking on the phone. The thought of going down to his place and not seeing any cows or fields literally makes me nauseous at the very thought. Of course I have no intentions of telling him what to do or suggest that he keep it going for my sake, but dear God in Heaven, how my heart will break when there is nothing left on that beautiful piece of land. I keep thinking to myself, maybe he will hold on a little while longer, long enough so my kids will know the feeling of running barefoot through the freshly plowed dirt. Maybe he can hold out another fall so they can fill their noses with the scent of harvest. To be totally honest, I was looking forward to the summer they would be old enough to help paw-paw bale hay in the sweltering heat. Some of my dreams for them will be shattered if he quits all-together.
At the same time, I will be a little relieved if he does slow down. It's hard for a man in his 60's to take care of 120 acres, 40+ head of cattle and hold down a full time job. Oh and did I mention he has to cut all his firewood himself just to keep warm in the winter? So while this lifestyle still holds its romance for me, he absolutely deserves the break. Hopefully I can share most of my childhood with my boys before its all gone.
So cheers to new beginning in a new year, even if it means letting go of those old, comfortable things that we want to hold on to so desperately.