I Need A Maple Tree

"Busy" seems to be an understatement lately. Since taking on my ultimate dream job of coaching High School softball, I find myself juggling daily life even more. I get caught up in trying to catch up instead of making the most of the moment. Guilt is a common emotion as I worry about how much time I'm spending away from my two little boys. I think back to my childhood and wonder were "big" people really this busy all the time? It didn't seem so back then, and it doesn't seem so now looking back. So what am I doing wrong? Maybe I'm just plain worrying about all the small stuff too much. Maybe we aren't getting the quality time that we need when we are all together. We need a Maple tree!
Thinking back to when I was a kid "big" people were busy and they did have a lot on their minds, but somehow we still managed to find time to just hang out under the Maple trees in my Granny's yard. You couldn't find cooler shade on a hot, Summer day and the grass beneath those trees were like cool blankets. I remember the guys coming in for dinner break while baling hay to have a sandwich and some lemonade under those trees. Paw Paw would put a chair in the shade while I played nearby and whittle on sticks that I would find for him. He could make the sharpest point I ever seen. Nothing can beat sitting under those trees and snapping beans and shucking corn picked fresh from the garden until the lightning bugs danced all around. Have you ever smelled freshly shucked corn on a still, starlit sky? It's one of the best things ever!
One of those old trees recently became diseased and had to be cut down. It was a sad thing to see all cut to pieces lying in the yard, helpless and dead. Where will all the whittling and shucking take place now? It will never be the same, but in my back yard is planted a red Maple. I think it's in the perfect spot to teach my boys how to make the sharpest points ever and to snap beans we've just picked from the garden. It's most definitely in the best spot to sit under at night and watch the lightning bugs dance. No, it will never be just the same, but maybe it's just what we need.

Taken By Surprise!

Surprises are usually good things right? It's nice to have someone or something wonderful come about out of the blue without the slightest clue of what's going on. My Aunt and Uncle came through big time in the surprise department. Inside an ordinary cardboard box was a birthday card with well wishes and a statement that read "hope this reminds you of your grandma." Inside was a beautiful hand-stitched quilt that was SO much like the ones she used to make. I could cry thinking about it. It has really made my birthday. I'll spare all of the sappy details, but yes, it does remind me of my grandma in the most wonderful of ways!

I'm Back!

I was 9 years old the first year I discovered softball. The park was just down the street from my house and I would ride my bike to the end of the road and watch from the outfield fence. It was fascinating and the thought of waiting until next year to play was almost more than I could handle. Next year finally came and from the second I stepped onto the field I was hooked! There is absolutely nothing better than the sound of that ball popping the glove, shaking the dust from the leather bindings.
My most important life lessons were learned playing that game. Everything from friendship and teamwork, commitment and work to heartache and loss, self-worth and overcoming the odds. My role as a pitcher taught me a whole lot about leading by example and about getting up when you've been knocked down. To my teammates and coaches that shared that stuff with me over the years - Thank You! It's absolutely one thing I would do again if given the chance.
Now fast forward a smidge over 20 years and I find myself in the coaching role. Eight hundred miles away from home and I'm still in the game. This is one of the greatest things that has happened to me to date (aside from the obvious ones) and no way am I not going to make the most of it. There is a lot of sacrifice involved, but aren't the best things in life the ones you've worked hardest for?
Coaching those girls at Acadiana High makes me feel 15 again! It makes me feel like my true self and I get to share all of the stuff I learned as a player with these girls and watch them "get it." It's right up there with being a parent and watching a child learn something new and want more of it. I have high hopes for what this season will mean not only for them, but myself as well.
What can I say except "I'm Back, Baby!"

Dad and Retirment

First and foremost: Happy New Year! I am looking forward to a brand new start at several things this year, all of which can only happen by my own making. I think my dad is looking forward to the seminar at work next week that will tell them about their new retirement options. I thought it was pretty cool that he was actually talking about slowing down and retiring from his carpentry job until he said he was about ready to give up the cows and the farm too. He probably heard my heart thud as it splattered to the floor while we were talking on the phone. The thought of going down to his place and not seeing any cows or fields literally makes me nauseous at the very thought. Of course I have no intentions of telling him what to do or suggest that he keep it going for my sake, but dear God in Heaven, how my heart will break when there is nothing left on that beautiful piece of land. I keep thinking to myself, maybe he will hold on a little while longer, long enough so my kids will know the feeling of running barefoot through the freshly plowed dirt. Maybe he can hold out another fall so they can fill their noses with the scent of harvest. To be totally honest, I was looking forward to the summer they would be old enough to help paw-paw bale hay in the sweltering heat. Some of my dreams for them will be shattered if he quits all-together.
At the same time, I will be a little relieved if he does slow down. It's hard for a man in his 60's to take care of 120 acres, 40+ head of cattle and hold down a full time job. Oh and did I mention he has to cut all his firewood himself just to keep warm in the winter? So while this lifestyle still holds its romance for me, he absolutely deserves the break. Hopefully I can share most of my childhood with my boys before its all gone.
So cheers to new beginning in a new year, even if it means letting go of those old, comfortable things that we want to hold on to so desperately.

Christmas Past

With the Holidays approaching I thought it would be a nice time to remind myself of what Christmas is really all about. It seems so ridiculous how we all get caught up in making everything look so pretty from our giant, pre-lit Christmas trees so overdone lighting on the house. Even Christmas cards have become somewhat of a competition with the photo-card fad. Then I look under the tree and literally think how we are buying ourselves out of the meaning of this holiday. Christ was not born onto this Earth to shower us with gifts, so why do we do it in His name? The one thing we were promised was love and that we would be shown it everyday, yet we celebrate such a simple concept in the most elaborate ways.
Take me back to the simplicity of the holiday....take me back to my Granny's house on Christmas Day. It was torture in the best way possible. I remember many times walking in he house mid-morning absolutely dying with anticipation of what was under the tree for me, yet well aware that it would not be the fanciest nor the most expensive gift I would receive. It didn't matter because it was often her gift or gifts that meant the most. She always cooked an outstanding meal for all who were there. Staying inside waiting on that fabulous food was antagonizing to say the least, so the kids would head off into the wilderness for an adventure of somekind. It usually involved someone climbing really high up onto something they shouldn't be on. We were always back in the house in time for dinner. It was a rule that everyone eat dinner first and help with the dishes. Absolutely no presents were to be opened until the work was done. If we weren't helping with dishes or having coffee we would set near the tree and guess what our presents were while playing cards.
The tree looked the same almost every year too. A 5ft cedar decorated with the biggest christmas lights I had seen and glass bulbs with a plastic and foil twinkling star on top always sat in the south window of the living room. A stocking for each grandkid was filled with peanuts, homemade candies and an orange...every year the same. One-by-one the gifts were unwrapped and each person was grateful if it was a package of socks or a nice desk set. Granny always went last because of course we saved the best gifts for last. It was so much more fun to see her face light up with joy as she was surprised with each gift. I hope she knew how much we all appreciated her Christmas and how much she touched us with the simplicity of it. It truly conveyed the message that Jesus had for us. Love one another and rejoice in the Lord. Thanks Granny!

Made it Home...and Made it Home Again

What a week! We were able to make it back home to Illinois for Thanksgiving. It was really a lot of fun to see the family and catch up with some old friends. If you are from Marshall you know that the Corner is THE place to go and have a drink. So in true Marshall style we met up at the Corner and wandered over to the VFW and saw a band with the oldest drummer alive. It was pretty cool really. His t-shirt read "Rock and Roll Lives!" To top the night off, we stumbled on over to the Frontier to watch karaoke. Now that's interesting! We also got in an all-important tractor ride, a Jr. High basketball game, gave a pitching lesson, and ate like a fool. I love being able to bring my kids back to the town where I grew up and experience the simple things. It seems like things down here are never simple. I can relax up North and be a better mommy. Sadly, our visit was cut short by a day thanks to a Southern Winter Storm. Yep.....snow and ice in South Louisiana. The TV headline read "Sneaux Mania." Seriously?

*sigh*

I had high hopes for myself pretty much all my life. Dreamed of a big farm house surrounded by corn fields, 4-wheelin' and fishin' on the weekends, and being surrounded by family and friends. I even concocted this idea once that marriage meant people supporting each other and cherishing the time they have with each other and their children, unconditionally. I guess we're taught that so we go ahead and let ourselves fall in love to the point of marriage and family. I'm sitting here tonight wondering what the heck happened. Why is it only half way or less most of the time? I'm really trying not to let my frustrations get the best of me but it gets a little harder with each disappointment.